WE ARE NOT SUPER MOMS!!

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WE ARE NOT SUPER MOMS!!Hello all.. Hope you all are doing good. I want to share an experience with you. My elder son Aadi is in 10th std and his pre-boards commenced on January 22nd. He had to go to school to take the exams and so we had to drop and pick him up from his school ( 12 kms from our apartment ). My husband planned to handle that along with his office work and I continued with my online classes  Addu's activities, classes and household work. At that time there was a family emergency in Kerala (our native place) and my husband was confused about his decision regarding travel to Kerala, because he is aware that in the present situation it is very tough for me to manage everything alone in Bangalore. When I started thinking about it, I realised that I wouldn't be able to drop Aadi in the morning because Addu will be sleeping at home and I can't leave him alone for a long time. But I thought he should go to Kerala and fulfil his responsibility as a son. So I asked him to go and gave him confidence that  I will manage everything here. Immediately he booked tickets and went. I arranged for an auto for Aadi to go for his exams, as I had no other choice. I told him to careful and to use the mask and sanitiser properly. I cancelled my sessions and did all activities with Addu and took him for a drive every day. I managed everything alone, even though I was working back to back.

 I changed Addu's schedule and routine according to how I could manage. He adjusted very well with the new routine and was happy. Aadi was playing Badminton with Addu and monitoring his bath time too. All other activities I handled and we enjoyed together. But it was overwhelming sometimes and I was facing health issues too. When I took him for cycling and skating I was anxious because I wanted to ensure that he is safe and there is no chance of his falling down. I was arranging his activities to give him a proper routine so that he can stay calm.

After leaving, my husband was fully occupied there and I was checking with him everyday as to how things are progressing. He was not bothered about how things were happening here and I was giving him updates. Then he told me, ' You are a Super Mom and so I know that you can manage everything.'  Every time I heard this, I would get really angry and upset. I am not a super mom, I am a mom who tries her best for her children. But when we start doing that, everyone labels us supermoms and then no one is bothered  to ask, 'Is every thing fine with you?'.

I am not blaming him for that but that is the truth. I can understand his work pressure and other responsibilities. Only we both of us used to share responsibilities and in his absence I did. Addu adjusted very well and Aadi was a great support. 

I am writing this post to make every one understand that we are not super moms but we are mothers who are trying our best to make our children happy and independent. We will do every thing without any complaints but if there are people around to check, are you ok..that would make us feel much better. 

Anyway that was a great learning experience for us and I was able to understand that we came a long way with Addu. He is doiing most of the things independently and his understanding level has improved remarkably. Because of a proper structure and routine he was calm and there were no anxiety related issues. Everyday for an hour, I went alone for a walk  (me time) and at that time Addu was at home and Aadi was busy with his studies.

My husband came back after 10 days and then I resumed my online sessions. But he got too busy with his office work ( whenever possible he was helping )and so again it was hard for me to manage everything alone. Then my health issues increased and after one week of medication, I am fine now. I am not a super mom!! If I am not getting enough rest I have to face health issues. 

I am feeling happy about the decision to send my husband to take care of his parents and i did my best to manage everything for my children. But i am not a Super mom. I dont want people to call me that... Because of the unconditional love between me and my child, I am able to do all this.

Smrithy

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